استخ کدوم دام؟

یک شروع بد تا آخر بد است
رفتم برا مصاحبه شغلی.
از من انکار و از اطرافیان اصرار که برم. برای مصاحبه یک سری کارهای قبلی رو مرور کردم و سوال جوابهای احتمالی رو از بر کردم که نگویند من مصاحبه خراب کن هستم.
رفتیم و مصاحبه انجام شد و گفتن تو نباید بعد از هفت سال بیکاری پس از دکترا از استخدام ناامید باشی.
قرار شد فرداها نامه درخواست کار بدهم و چند تا مدرک رو برای کارهای اداری ارائه بدهم.
گذشت و برای اینکه نامه از بالا به پایین بیاید که من استخدام بشوم چند روز گذشت و یکی دوبار بالا پایین رفتم که سایر کارکنان بفهمند من قرار است استخدام شوم. یک مصاحبه عقیدتی-سیاسی هم اون وسط جا کردند و پر کردم.
همه مدارک رو در جایی که میگفتن ما فاز بدون کاغذ رو گذراندیم و همه چیز الکترونیکی شده، چند بار به صورت دستی و با پرینت و کپی و غیره در سه نسخه و چند. روز پیگیری بالاخره تحویل گرفتن
فاز آخر دریافت مدارک
در فاز آخر ازم مصاحبه فنی گرفتن. این مصاحبه کل روز من رو گرفت، طوریکه فاز آخر ناقص ماند و امضا هم نکردند.
کامپیوتری های بد
دانشجوی مهندسی که باشی و خصوصا مهندسی کامپیوتر، باهات خوب رفتار نمی‌کنند. طوری در این بدرفتاری همه یکصدا هستند که گویی تکلیفی و قانونی نانوشته را اجرا می‌کنند. با خودت فکر می‌کنی همه همینطور بد هستند و اگر تغییر رشته نداده باشید به بدی دیدن عادت میکنید.
تا گفتن مصاحبه فنی دیگه میدونستم چی قرارها بشنوم: اینکه همان چیزی که تو بلد نیستی مهم ترین چیزه
در مصاحبه سه نفر شرکت داشتند. نفر اول مسئول و فرد باسابقه ای بود. ازم پرسید با چه زبانهایی کار کردی؟
گفتم php
از کارمندی که برایش کار میکرد خواست سوال های بیشتری از من بپرسد. کارمند گفت حالا که با php
کار کردی با Laravel   هم کار کردی؟
گفتم راه دستم نبود و من مستقیم کد نویسی میکنم. گفت پس با nosql  هم کار کردی؟
گفتم بله
-    MongoDb?
-    نه، فایل های فلت
پرسید mvc API ؟
گفتم API بیشتر سطح ویندوز هست. گفت نه
برای mvc گفتم تو نت بینز کار کردم. گفت نه ام وی سی مخفف model control view
و مفهومی هست که برای رابط کاربری تعریف میشه.
گفتم من در سطح برنامه نویسی با این کار کردم.
بحث به اینجا که رسید مسئول کامپیوتر گفت سوال هایت رو برو پشت سیستم ازش بپرس. انگار این داره جواب میده
سوال جواب ها طولانی شده بود و من قرار نبود مورد سوال واقع بشم. حتی وقتی ازم خواستن رزومه بنویسم بهشون ۵ صفحه رزومه پرینت رنگی تحویل داده بودم. می‌تونستم بگم منتظرم هستند و چون من آمادگی مصاحبه فنی نداشتم بروم، ولی گفتن که اگر بروی برایت یک روز دیگر مشخص میکنیم بیای برای مصاحبه!
دیدم اینطوریه و کامپیوتر هم طوری هست که هر طوری جواب بدید باز می‌توانند بگویند که نه، این آن جوابی که می‌خواستیم نبود و بهینه نبود و می‌تونستی بهتر جواب بدهید! می‌تونستی سریعتر باشی و از این حرفها
گفتم ادامه میدهم.
یک برگه گذاشت جلوم و گفت دو تا جدول ساده در پایگاه داده رو به یک فرم محیط کدنویسی مرتبط کن و براساس گروه کاربری لیست بگیر!
حالا من بهشون گفته بودم آخرین باری که در این محیط کدنویسی کار کرده ام مال چند سال پیشه، ولی قرار بود بشینم و تا آخرش برم.
نشستم و هر سوالی که می‌پرسیدم یک راهنمایی که میشدم یک امتیاز هم از من کم میشد. رسیدم به صفر امتیاز
مسئول کامپیوتر از کارمند پرسید این چی بلده؟
گفت: هیچ، به گفته خودش در حد ماشین حساب بلده
ادامه داد: من Laravel   کار نکردم، ولی Laravel خداست! هرکس با این پلتفرم کار کرده خیلی آدم موفقیست!
شست و گذاشت کنار. به یک جایی رسید که باید میگفتم من راست میگفتم سه ماه رو دیتابیس فلان سازمان بزرگ کار کردم. باید میگفتم بیمار بودم که بعد از هفت سال بیکاری اومدم جای شما برای کار!
در نتیجه این مصاحبه، سه نفر مانده بودند که برگه های مدرک من را برای پرونده اداری امضا کنند و هیچ یک حاضر به امضا نشدند. فقط یک طوری حرف زدن که انگار نهایتش بخواهند برای سه ماه تحملم کنند
نه تو هیچ بلدی، نه یاد میگیری و نه اجازه خواهیم داد که یاد بگیری
فاز آخر مدارک موکول شد به چند روز آینده و من همچنان در حال انجام و پس دادن مصاحبه های متعدد غافلگیرانه بوده ام.
با خودم فکر کردم هنوز شروع کاره و دیر نشده بزنم زیرش. جای خونه سروصدا کردم و گفتن برایش کار جور کردیم و این پرخاش می‌کنه.
به ذهنم رسید برم جاهای دیگر برای مصاحبه. مگر چقدر می‌خواهند حقوق بدهند؟ همون موقع یکی هم داشت استعفا میداد.
دیگه به ذهنم رسید که اصلا برای چی باید بروم مصاحبه؟
من جاهای مختلف برای کار رفته ام و هر جا گفته اند که رزومه علمیت تایید شده و حالا بیا برای مصاحبه رد کرده ام و این هم نتیجه یک مصاحبه که رفته ام. نتیجه چه بوده؟ جز اینکه گفته اند هیچ بلد نیست؟
خودم تا گفتن مصاحبه بهشون میگم زحمت نکشید من هیچی بلد نیستم
کار کردن جنگه
بهم گفتن تو یه عمر مصاحبه ها رو رد کردی. اگر از اول با همه هیچی نیستی گفتن هاشون مقاومت میکردی لابد تا حالا لااقل ۷ سال سابقه کار داشتی. پس، این جنگه. بمون و تا آخرش خودت رو اثبات کن! بمون و هر روز چیز جدیدی یاد بگیر!
تا آخر چی؟
سه ماه کار آزمایشی؟
از اطرافیان اصرار و از من انکار
گفتم من قبلاً سابقه این کار رو داشته ام. از من یکطرفه امضا و اثر انگشت می‌گیرند و خودشان از همان اول امضا نمی‌کنند.
بعد هم اگر قرار باشه با این کارمند کار کنم که این روز اول شمشیر رو از رو بسته. هر روز برم سر کدوم کار؟
بهشون گفتم صبر کنید تا سه ماه دیگر نتیجه را بهتون بگم.
______________________________

A bad start is always a bad end
I went for a job interview.
I was denied and people around me insisted that I go. For the interview, I reviewed a series of previous jobs and memorized the possible answer questions so that they wouldn't say I was a job-saboteur.
We went and the interview was conducted and they said that you shouldn't be disappointed in getting hired after seven years of unemployment after your PhD.
I was supposed to submit a job application letter tomorrow and submit a few documents for administrative work.
It passed and for the letter to go from top to bottom so that I would be hired, it took a few days and I went up and down once or twice so that the other employees would understand that I was going to be hired. They also put an ideological-political interview in the middle and I filled it out.
I submitted all the documents where they said we had passed the paperless phase and everything was electronic, several times manually and with printing and copying, etc. in triplicate and a few days of follow-up.
The final phase of receiving the documents
In the final phase, they took me for a technical interview. This interview took me the whole day, so that the final phase was incomplete and they didn't even sign it.
Bad computer people
If you are an engineering student, especially a computer engineer, they don't treat you well. Everyone is unanimous in this mistreatment, as if they are following an unwritten rule or assignment. You think to yourself that everyone is bad and if you haven't changed your major, you will get used to seeing bad things.
I knew what I was going to hear until I mentioned the technical interview: that what you don't know is the most important thing
There were three people in the interview. The first person was a responsible and experienced person. He asked me what languages ​​did you work with?
I said php
He asked the employee he worked for to ask me more questions. The employee said that now that you have worked with php,
have you also worked with Laravel?
I said that I couldn't and I code directly. He said, so have you also worked with nosql?
I said yes
- MongoDb?
- No, flat files
You asked MVC API?
I said that the API is mostly Windows-level. He said no
I said I worked in NetBeans for MVC. He said no, MVC stands for model control view
and it is a concept that defines the user interface.
I said I worked with this at the programming level.
When the discussion got to this point, the computer manager said to go ask your questions to the system. It seems like this is working
The questions and answers were long and I was not going to be questioned. Even when they asked me to write a resume, I had handed them 5 pages of color printed resume. I could have said that they were waiting for me and that since I was not prepared for the technical interview, I should go, but they said that if you go, we will set another day for you to come for the interview!
I saw that this is how it is and the computer is such that no matter how you answer, they can still say no, this was not the answer we wanted and it was not optimal and you could have answered better! You could have been faster and from these words
I said I will continue.
He put a sheet in front of me and said to link two simple tables in the database to a form in the coding environment and get a list based on user groups!
Now, I had told them that the last time I worked in this coding environment was a few years ago, but I was going to sit down and go through it to the end.
I sat down and every question I asked, a hint, would take a point off my score. I ended up with zero points
The computer manager asked the employee what he knew?
He said: Nothing, according to him, he knows about calculators
He continued: I didn’t work with Laravel, but Laravel is awesome! Anyone who has worked with this platform is a very successful person!
He shrugged and put it aside. It got to a point where I had to say that I was telling the truth, I worked on a database for a large organization for three months. I had to say that I was sick and came to work for you after seven years of unemployment!
As a result of this interview, there were three people left to sign my certificate sheets for the administrative file, and none of them were willing to sign. They just talked as if they wanted to put up with me for three months.
You don't know anything, you won't learn anything, and we won't let you learn anything.
The final phase of the documents was postponed to the next few days, and I was still doing and giving back to numerous surprise interviews.
I thought to myself, it's not too late to start working on it. I made a fuss at home and they said we had found a job for him, and that's annoying.
I thought about going to other places for interviews. How much do they want to pay? At that moment, someone was resigning.
It also occurred to me that why should I go to interviews at all?
I've gone to different places for work and they've said that my academic resume has been approved, and now I've been rejected for an interview, and this is the result of the interview I went to. What was the result? Except that they said I don't know anything?
I tell them myself, don't bother, I don't know anything.
Working is a struggle.
They told me you've been rejecting interviews for a lifetime. If you had resisted their words that you were nothing from the beginning, you would have had at least 7 years of work experience by now. So, this is war. Stay and prove yourself until the end! Stay and learn something new every day!
Until what?
Three months of probationary work?
Insistence from those around me and denial from me
I said that I have a history of this work before. They unilaterally take my signature and fingerprints and do not sign from the very beginning.
And then what if I am supposed to work with this employee who has drawn a sword from his face on this first day. What kind of work will I go to every day?
I told them to wait until I tell you the result in three months.